If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
