You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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