The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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