Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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