He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
