I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
