So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
