he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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