before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
