This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
