She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
