you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I will be naked everywhere
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
