The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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