i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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