when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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