Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
