i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
