try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
