Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I did not marry a roomba.
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