Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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