yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
