I wanna bring you to show and tell
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
These tits shall not be calmed
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
