It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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