too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
