I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
