We got so high we made milksteak
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
