i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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