yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There r osticjed everywhere
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
