I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
