Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
