He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
