Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
