You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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