Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
