NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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