I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
