I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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