A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
where does the pee come out of this thing
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
