I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
