considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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