Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
