you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
this will be a night to untag.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I need to calm my uterus...
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
