thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I need to stop coming to work sober
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
