How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
