i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
