my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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