Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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