thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
We need to get me chipped asap
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
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