Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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