you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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