dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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